Live a little, actually, A LOT!!
If you're anything like me, you sense a vast chasm between what you could be and what you are. It's as if squandering time and talent has cost you a richer life. I'm sitting pretty in life, but deep down, I know it could be mind-blowingly better. It's just me, my mindset, and my habits throwing up roadblocks.
Every so often, I wake up with this burning urge to level up - eat cleaner, push harder, show more heart, grind like there's no tomorrow. I craft the perfect plan for the week, the month, setting goals and challenges to become that person. I'll throw down a monster goal to get my act together - run a marathon, conquer an Ironman, hit a business milestone. I often hit them but it is somehow not because I got better, but because as the deadline of loomed, I am able t tap into a frenzied energy, a maniacal drive to succeed, only to revert to my old self.
But hey, I'm moving forward, getting better bit by bit. Just not at warp speed. In the winter of 2019, I couldn't ski; now I can handle almost any slope competently. I've taken up surfing, not excelling, but managing a few breaks. Kitesurfing and sailing are works in progress. I'm learning German and have improved my marathon time from 3:45 in 2018 to a personal best of 3:12. I share this to show I'm not stagnating or stuck in a rut.
Now, back to the main event - habits and being your best self. I've had a few lightbulb moments lately that are really turning the tide for me. And I wanted to share ‘em with you.
Identity Matters Most: Your self-perception shapes your actions. I redefined myself not as someone aspiring to run an outstanding marathon or climb a business summit, but as someone who runs thrice weekly or performs specific tasks daily. I curate my week, dedicating Wednesdays to meeting founders and entrepreneurs, Fridays to date night, Thursdays to spontaneity, Mondays and Tuesdays to dinners with old friends, and weekends to adventure. I no longer focus on losing 10lbs to get in shape; I'm someone who exercises daily. Changing your identity, the narrative you tell yourself, is crucial.
Limiting belief Sucks: I worked intensively with a coach (Thanks Tracy!!!) and through guided meditations to uncover my limiting beliefs. One was viewing routines and daily habits as dull. I used to think making spontaneous decisions about food, activities, and socializing was liberating. But during a meditative journey, my perspective shifted. I realized I was not embracing freedom but avoiding the responsibility of creating the life I desired. If I truly want something, I should actively pursue it, not wait for it to appear magically. This realization has helped me appreciate the value of habits and routines while still fostering a sense of adventure. I'm gradually moving towards a new way of life.
Habits - Stack ‘em: This is where the rubber meets the road for me lately. Instead of trying to overhaul my identity overnight (I'm not that crazy), it's way easier to start with one thing that this new version of me would do differently. Nail that one thing for a few days or a couple of weeks, then it's a breeze to stack more habits on top. For me, it's like:
Identity Shift: I'm not gunning for a sub-3 marathon; I'm the guy who works out every day.
Habit: I make sure to hit the gym or go for a run every single day.
Result: After a month, I've embraced this new identity and, as a consequence, spend less time glued to screens and more on learning German. This new me eats better, too - I'm hitting over 80g of protein most days and cutting back on gluten at dinner.
None of this is a shocking revelation, but secret to a better life rarely is - by the time once is 30 you kinda know the secrets to a great life - health, wealth, love, sex and lots of adventure - pursuing them is incredibly hard at the highest level and I am here for it :)
Murder on the dance floor - Sophie Ellis-Bextor
